專家作家姜愛玲老師vs 爽爆新聞網google newsrss總編輯張恭銘Jeff名人會客室2021平面雙語專訪
Q：可以請專家作家姜愛玲老師簡單介紹「你聽見了孩子的求救訊號嗎？資深動作治療師帶你從孩子的言行看見孩子的問題」這本書？
A:
所有新聞網的讀者，大家好我是姜愛玲老師，接下來我要跟大家介紹我的作品「你聽見了孩子的求救訊號嗎？資深動作治療師帶你從孩子的言行看見孩子的問題」， 我是一位身心工作者，從多年的實務經驗中了解到，人與人之間除了語言文字的溝通之外，非語言溝通也占了極高的比重。我們能以各種理解程度，來傳達各種形式的訊息，這樣的溝通過程並不僅限於說和寫的語言。當我們和別人互動時，有時候溝通順暢，有時卻溝通不良，這並非遣詞用字或思考邏輯的問題，而是關乎當互動的雙方在傳達自己的意思時，接受訊息一方對於另一方的非語言表達了解多少。文字的傳送與接收，只占了人類溝通的一小部分，所以在舞蹈治療的訓練中，我們必須學習與懂得觀察別人各式各樣的身體動作及姿態，以了解這些動作與姿態背後的「行為語言」。
我因工作所接觸的對象涵蓋各年齡層，當然也包含了孩子們。在我帶領兒童及親子課程的經驗中，除了留意孩子們在團體中的動作表達、言行和身心狀態之外，他們在團體前後與父母的互動也是我所關注的。我曾經帶過一個兒童團體，在第一次的課程中，我發現有個孩子的動作幅度、力道都很大，也習慣用吼叫的方式說話，在一間並不大的治療室中，他的聲音常顯得相當刺耳。那次團體結束後，我一打開治療室的門，他就飛奔而出大聲叫著他的媽媽，說時遲那時快，只見他媽媽也同樣大聲地回應：「跟你說過多少次不要亂跑亂動，你都不聽！再不聽話，小心我打死你！」我聽到之後心中一驚，難怪這位小朋友無法控制他的衝動——以動作和聲音彰顯出來。是否正因為他經常被如此對待，於是就有樣學樣地複製起來了？
這種狀況不禁讓我深思：父母在日常生活中的言行舉止，有沒有可能在有意或無意之間培養、甚至強化了孩子不當的態度和言行？父母是否瞭解孩子隱藏在行為之下的身心感受？許多大問題，其實都是由小問題的日積月累衍生而來。身為父母，該如何開始從小地方著手，讓孩子的言行舉止更為合宜？
「孩子是父母的一面鏡子」。孩子的行為表現常是父母言行的再製，也可能是父母疏於瞭解、陪伴之下的結果。在團體中對其他人吼叫的孩子，自己在家中原來也常被父母以吼叫、怒罵和威脅相待；抱怨孩子總是找不到東西、懶得整理自己玩具的媽媽，從來沒想過是因為自己一直跟在孩子身邊幫忙收拾，而錯失訓練孩子為自己負責的良機；在團體中說個不停的孩子，其實極度缺乏自我表達的機會，只因她在家中一開口就挨罵；偷偷拿走媽媽皮包的小男孩，本身並不缺錢，卻不敢承認自己的偷竊行為，其實只是為了讓父母的注意力從彼此爭吵移回他身上；一群學業成績不佳，卻依然努力用功、並且多才多藝的國中生，卻因為父母師長獨尊學業表現，日積月累的責罵、輕視，導致自信心嚴重低落，在學校甚至遭到功課優異同學的欺負，師長卻視若無睹，讓這群孩子對未來失去期待……
我衷心希望以這本書和家長老師們分享，以動作的各種質地為切入點，透過觀察和孩子的行為及實地感受孩子的身體動作，一步步解開孩子的行為密碼、了解孩子的需求，也就是孩子的身體語言所說的是什麼，即時發現與回應孩子需要被照顧、被理解的地方，以及親子雙方在遊戲、互動的過程中，可以如何更進一步同理到彼此的身心感受，讓親情的交流順暢無礙。孩子感受到父母完全的愛與關懷，自然就會表現出正向行為。孩子穩定的情緒和得體的行止，確實來自父母的真心關懷和以身作則。唯有先成為感受細膩的優質父母，才能培養出健康快樂的優質孩子。
親愛的父母，你知道孩子的某些身體動作及姿態，
可能正在向你發出求救訊號，
你，聽見了嗎？
孩子的肢體動作，是充滿訊息與暗示的童言，有時比說話來得更真實；
它反映的是孩子切身的幸福感和舒適感，還有內心最深層的恐懼和衝突。
在每一場你與孩子的溝通裡，文字語言只占30%的作用，
聽不見的童言──肢體動作，卻占了70%！
只有先成為感受細膩的父母，在每個不當言行發生的當下，
停下來，用心「看」孩子的行為背後，
才能「聽」出隱藏在行為之下的真實話語，
找到恍然大悟的心疼與療癒，有效解決孩子的成長危機！
▍結合心理學＋動作治療，對症下藥，引導孩子發展正向行為
作者以心理諮商碩士背景，結合15年的舞蹈／動作治療師經驗，透過專業的心理學觀察以及有效的肢體動作治療，陪伴父母們一步步解開孩子的行為密碼、瞭解孩子的需求（身體想要說什麼），即時發現與回應孩子需要被照顧、被理解的地方，以及親子雙方在遊戲、互動的過程中，可以如何更進一步同理到彼此的身心感受，讓親情順暢無礙地交流互動。
▍以大量的實際案例，讓父母了解孩子行為背後訊息，並提供解碼技巧解決問題
20個孩子最常被大人忽略的身體訊息、5組肢體互動小遊戲以及N個簡易肢體觀察小技巧，讓父母在閱讀別人的故事裡，找到孩 子隱藏在行為之下的真實話語，有效改善孩子的行為問題！
▍資深動作治療師的教學互動經驗大公開，協助解開孩子行為密碼
許多孩子們的各種姿勢與動作，並非姿勢不良，而是藉由身體如實地呈現出他們對於身邊人事物及外在環境的觀點……
行為解碼1‧當孩子壓力大時：彎腰駝背、下垂前傾的雙肩和無力的雙臂，都是為平衡壓力的反射性生理機制。
行為解碼2‧當孩子企圖隱瞞時：快速眨眼、不敢看父母、低頭向下看、持續吞口水、舔嘴唇或清喉嚨、用手遮口說話、把手放在喉嚨上、扭動手指，在對話時擦擦鼻子、搔搔頭、摸摸頸子、聳聳肩等，都是常見會出現的身體姿態。
行為解碼3‧孩子內心萬般不願時：會以冷漠的表情、彎曲的背脊以及癱垮的胸膛等瑟縮體態來表露自己想法不被關心、重視的感受。
行為解碼4‧當孩子沒有自信時：體態會比較緊縮，頭也抬不太起來，步伐小而輕，正是容易遭受攻擊的體態。
行為解碼5‧有些家長因為疼愛孩子，不准孩子在地上爬行翻滾，也不讓他們在戶外的土地上做活動……其實，爬、翻、滾等是兒童發育過程中的重要動作，不但可增進孩子的大動作和精細動作發展，亦可刺激內耳、前庭、骨骼和神經系統的發展，有助維持平衡感、手眼協調、左右腦均衡發展，以及記憶和理解力，對於數理學習極有幫助。
本書特色
■圖解孩子身體語言：實際案例搭配插圖，除協助父母更易理解孩子，也更引人入勝。
■身體小教室專欄：20則應對策略＋5組結合心理學、動作治療的肢體互動遊戲＋N個簡易肢體觀察技巧，協助你解開孩子的行為密碼，改善孩子的行為問
這本書的內容跟大家簡單分享
目錄
作者序：一舉一動的肢體動作，都是無聲的童言
導言：了解身體的語言
Part 1 花招百出的孩子需要的是關注
「老師，我跟妳說……」「爸爸，陪我玩嘛！」……話說個不停或總想吸引注意力的孩子，其實並不是在故意找麻煩，而是內心有一塊需要被大人關注的角落。
01老師，我跟你說喔……
02哼，明明我比他好！
03嗯……我想要待在家裡。
04不要，我就是不要！
【身體小教室】
˙身體的心情小故事
˙身心快易通──動作中的情感交流
Part 2瞎話不斷的小孩也有不得已
為什麼孩子不顧一切也要放棄誠實？其實，孩子也有他們的「情非得已」……
05因為時間到了啊！
06不是我，我真的沒有拿！
07我沒有作弊！
08明明是你答應的！
【身體小教室】
˙空間的接觸和運用
˙身體愛塗鴉──讓想像力釋Fun壓力
Part3任性耍賴的孩子要的是幫助
「不要，我就是不要！」「讓我再玩一下下嘛～」……種種孩子選擇任性、耍賴的行為，其實都正在向我們發出求救訊號。
09我的無尾熊在哪裡？
10人家很忙啦！
11老師說要找這個……
12我喜歡畫畫
【身體小教室】
˙動作的時間和韻律
˙身體小魔鏡──啟發孩子的主動性
Part4脆弱不安孩子的內心話
孩子面對挫折時，選擇攻擊或是投降，其實都透露出內心的極不安全感以及沒有自信，他們的內心，其實很脆弱。
13不是我，是他自己跌倒的！
14我覺得自己很不好看！
15可是，我不會……
16功課好就是好學生？！
【身體小教室】
˙心身的力道和收放
˙身體雕塑家──打造自信的好體態
Part5 落單孩子發出的求救訊號
每一個人際關係受阻的孩子，都有著不為人知的辛酸；有時身體界線的模糊、空間的錯誤使用……都可能是讓他們落單的原因。
17這是我的，我不想分享！
18亂講，我哪有這樣！
19誰叫他那麼白目！
20為什麼他們都不喜歡我？
【身體小教室】
˙看見孩子的距離感
˙律動你我他──玩出人際的潛規則
關於受訪者介紹
姜愛玲（Irene）
舞蹈／動作治療師
美國Liberty University心理諮商碩士／New York University文化暨傳播碩士、澳洲Wesley Institute of Minisry & the Arts舞蹈治療研究所。
原本唸的是數位傳播，後來轉換跑道成為行動工作者，長年致力於全人身心療癒／整合的實踐與傳承，文字創作則聚焦於你我所身處的當代社會，以詼諧直白的文筆反映人生百態，透過旅行、影像及文字品味分享現代生活的多元樣貌，足跡已遍及世界四十餘國。
現任：恩主公醫院精神科暨日間照護 舞蹈治療師／台灣亞太健康管理協會 理事、舞蹈治療顧問／台灣費登奎斯教育中心「動中覺察」合格教師／台灣舞蹈治療研究協會 專業認證舞蹈治療師。
【歷年著作】
《Disney‘s GOTCHA!幼兒美語教材》（合著）
《心在跳舞：遇見舞蹈治療》
《刺蝟小孩不難搞：要讓孩子聽話，先聽孩子說話》
《滿分爸媽養成書》（合著）
《女生，練習一個人旅行》
《輔助暨整合療法》（合著）
《別再委屈自己求得他人認同：不再委屈求全的20堂必學人生突破法則》
【最新著作】
《你聽見了孩子的求救訊號嗎？資深動作治療師帶你從孩子的言行看見孩子的問題》
【歷年譯作】
《Da Ai Shou: Healing Hands of Universal Love大愛手小冊》英文版〔合譯〕
《瑜珈美人全書》
《刺客正傳2：皇家刺客》〔上／下〕
《刺客正傳3：刺客任務》〔上／下〕
《魔法製造有限公司》
《舞蹈動作治療：療傷的藝術》（合譯）
Expert writer Jiang Ailing vs. Zhang Gongming, editor-in-chief of google newsrss of Shuangbao News.com, a bilingual interview with Jeff celebrity reception room in 2021
Q: Can I ask the expert writer Jiang Ailing to briefly introduce the book “Have you heard the child’s distress signal? A senior motion therapist will show you the child’s problems from the child’s words and deeds”?
A:
Hello to all the readers of the news network, I am teacher Ailing Jiang. Next, I want to introduce my work “Have you heard the child’s distress signal? A senior motion therapist will show you the child’s problem from the child’s words and deeds”, 我 I am a physical and mental worker. I have learned from years of practical experience that in addition to verbal and written communication between people, non-verbal communication also accounts for a very high proportion. We can convey various forms of information with various levels of understanding. This communication process is not limited to spoken and written language. When we interact with others, sometimes the communication is smooth, and sometimes the communication is poor. This is not about using words or thinking about logic, but about when the two interacting parties are conveying their own meanings, the one who accepts the message is about the other. How much do you know about nonverbal expression. The transmission and reception of text only accounts for a small part of human communication. Therefore, in dance therapy training, we must learn and understand the various body movements and postures of others in order to understand the behind these movements and postures. Behavioral language”.
To
The people I come into contact with at work cover all ages, and of course children are included. In my experience of leading children and parent-child courses, in addition to paying attention to the children’s actions, words and deeds, and physical and mental state in the group, I also pay attention to their interaction with their parents before and after the group. I once brought a group of children. In the first class, I found that a child had great range of motion and strength, and he was also used to yelling. In a small treatment room, he The voice often appears quite harsh. After the group was over, as soon as I opened the door of the treatment room, he rushed out and called his mother loudly, saying that it was too late, and then it was fast, but his mother also responded loudly: “Telled you How many times don’t run around, you won’t listen! If you don’t behave, be careful that I kill you!” After I heard it, I was shocked. No wonder this kid couldn’t control his impulse-it was revealed by his actions and voice. Is it because he is often treated this way, so he has copied it like this?
To
This situation makes me think deeply: Is it possible that parents’ words and deeds in daily life, whether intentionally or unintentionally, cultivate or even strengthen children’s inappropriate attitudes and actions? Do parents understand the child’s physical and mental feelings hidden under the behavior? Many big problems are actually derived from the accumulation of small problems. As a parent, how do you start small and make your child’s behavior and behavior more appropriate?
To
“Children are a mirror for parents”. Children’s behavior is often the reproduction of the parents’ words and deeds, and it may also be the result of parents’ neglect of understanding and company. Children who yell at other people in groups are often yelled, cursed, and threatened by their parents at home; mothers who complain that their children always can’t find things and are too lazy to organize their toys, never thought it was because I have been by my side to help tidy up, and missed the opportunity to train the children to be responsible for themselves; in the group talking about non-stop children, in fact, there is a great lack of opportunities for self-expression, just because she was scolded at home when she opened her mouth; The little boy who walked with his mother’s purse was not short of money, but he did not dare to admit his theft. In fact, it was just to get his parents’ attention from quarreling with each other back to him; a group of poor academic performance, but still working hard, and The multi-talented middle school students, because their parents and teachers dominate their academic performance, accumulate scolding and contempt, resulting in a severely low self-confidence. They were even bullied by classmates with excellent homework at school, but the teachers turned a blind eye, making these children lose hope for the future… …
To
I sincerely hope to share this book with parents and teachers, take the various textures of movements as the starting point, through observation and children’s behaviors and on-the-spot feelings of children’s physical movements, step by step, to unlock children’s behavior codes and understand children’s needs. It’s what the child’s body language says, and instantly discover and respond to where the child needs to be taken care of and understood, and how the parent and child can further empathize with each other’s physical and mental feelings during the game and interaction process, and make family love The communication is smooth and unimpeded. When children feel the complete love and care of their parents, they will naturally show positive behaviors. Children’s stable emotions and decent behavior do come from their parents’ sincere care and example. Only by becoming a high-quality parent with delicate feelings can we cultivate healthy and happy high-quality children.
Dear parents, you know certain physical movements and postures of children,
may be sending you a distress signal,
Did you hear that?
To
The child’s body movements are childish words full of information and hints, sometimes more real than words;
It reflects the child’s personal happiness and comfort, as well as the deepest fears and conflicts in the heart.
In every communication between you and your child, words and languages only play a role of 30%.
The inaudible children’s words-body movements account for 70%!
Only to become parents who feel delicate first, at the moment when improper words and deeds happen,
stopped and “looked” at the back of the child’s behavior,
can “hear” the true words hidden under the behavior,
Find the distress and healing that suddenly came to light, and effectively solve the child’s growth crisis!
To
▍Combining psychology + movement therapy, prescribe the right medicine to guide children to develop positive behaviors
The author has a master’s degree in psychological counseling, combined with 15 years of experience as a dance/movement therapist, through professional psychological observations and effective body movement therapy, to accompany parents step by step to unlock their children’s behavior codes and understand their needs (physical What do you want to say), immediately discover and respond to the place where the child needs to be taken care of and understood, and how the parent and child can further empathize with each other’s physical and mental feelings during the game and interaction process, so that the family can communicate smoothly and unimpeded interactive.
To
▍Through a large number of actual cases, let parents understand the information behind the child’s behavior and provide decoding skills to solve the problem
20 children’s most frequently overlooked body information by adults, 5 sets of physical interaction games and N simple physical observation tips, allowing parents to read other people’s stories and find the true words hidden under their behaviors, effectively improving children Behavior problem!
To
▍The teaching and interactive experience of the senior motion therapist is made public, helping to unlock the child’s behavior code
The various postures and movements of many children are not bad postures, but truthfully show their views on the people, things and external environment around them through their bodies…
To
Behavioral Decoding 1. When the child is under a lot of stress: hunched over, slumped forward shoulders and weak arms are all reflex physiological mechanisms to balance stress.
To
Behavior Decoding 2. When the child tries to hide: blinking quickly, not daring to look at the parents, looking down, swallowing continuously, licking the lips or clearing the throat, talking with the hand, putting the hand on the throat, twisting the fingers, Wiping your nose, scratching your head, touching your neck, shrugging your shoulders, etc. are all common body postures that occur during a conversation.
To
Behavior Decoding 3. When children are unwilling in their hearts: they will show their feelings of not being cared or valued with a cold expression, a curved back and a collapsed chest.
To
Behavior Decoding 4. When the child is not confident: the posture will be tighter, the head will not be able to lift up, the steps are small and light, which is the posture that is prone to attack.
To
Behavior Decoding 5. Some parents do not allow children to crawl and roll on the ground because they love their children, nor do they allow them to do activities on the ground outdoors… In fact, crawling, rolling, and rolling are important actions in the development of children, not only It promotes the development of children’s large and fine motor movements. It also stimulates the development of the inner ear, vestibule, bones and nervous system. It helps maintain balance, hand-eye coordination, balanced development of left and right brains, as well as memory and comprehension. It is extremely helpful for mathematical learning .
Book features
To
■Illustrated children’s body language: actual cases with illustrations help parents to understand the children more easily, and are also more fascinating.
To
■The small physical classroom column: 20 coping strategies + 5 sets of interactive physical games combining psychology and movement therapy + N simple physical observation skills to help you unlock your child’s behavioral code and improve your child’s behavioral problems
Simply share the content of this book with everyone
table of Contents
Author’s Preface: Every physical movement is silent childish speech
Introduction: Understanding the language of the body
Part 1 All tricks children need is attention
“Teacher, let me tell you…” “Dad, play with me!”… A child who talks non-stop or always wants to attract attention is not deliberately asking for trouble, but there is something in his heart that needs an adult The corner of attention.
Teacher 01, let me tell you…
02 Hmph, obviously I am better than him!
03 Well… I want to stay at home.
04No, I just don’t!
【Body Classroom】
˙The body’s mood story
˙The body and mind are quick and easy──Emotional communication in action
Part 2 Children who keep talking nonsense also have to
Why do children give up honesty despite everything? In fact, children also have their “desires”…
05Because the time is up!
06 It’s not me, I really didn’t take it!
07 I did not cheat!
08 Obviously you promised!
【Body Classroom】
˙Contact and use of space
˙The body loves graffiti── Let the imagination relieve the pressure of Fun
Part3 The capricious child wants help
“No, I just don’t!” “Let me play again~”…All kinds of children’s willful and shameless behaviors are actually sending us a distress signal.
09 Where is my koala?
10 people are very busy!
11 The teacher said to find this…
12 I like to draw
【Body Classroom】
˙Time and rhythm of action
˙The small magic mirror of the body──inspiring children’s initiative
Part4The inner words of fragile and disturbed children
When children face setbacks, whether they choose to attack or surrender, they actually reveal their deep inner insecurity and lack of self-confidence. Their hearts are actually very fragile.
13 It’s not me, but he fell down!
14 I feel very ugly!
15 But, I will not…
16 Good homework is a good student? !
【Body Classroom】
˙The strength and retraction of the mind and body
˙Body Sculptor──Create a confident and good posture
Part5 The distress signal sent by the child placed alone
Every child whose interpersonal relationship is blocked has unknown bitterness; sometimes the blurring of body boundaries and the wrong use of space…may be the reason why they are alone.
17 This is mine, I don’t want to share it!
18 Nonsense, how can I be like this!
19Who told him to be so white-eyed!
20 Why don’t they like me?
【Body Classroom】
˙Seeing the child’s sense of distance
˙Rhythm you, me and him──play out the hidden rules of interpersonal
About the interviewee
Irene Jiang
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dance/action therapist
Master of Psychological Counseling, Liberty University, USA/Master of Culture and Communication, New York University, Wesley Institute of Minisry & the Arts, Dance Therapy Institute, Australia.
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Originally I thought about digital communication, but later changed to become an action worker. He has been committed to the practice and inheritance of holistic physical and mental healing/integration for many years. The text creation focuses on the contemporary society in which you and I live, and reflects in witty and straightforward writing. Life is diverse, sharing the diverse aspects of modern life through travel, video and text taste, and has traveled to more than 40 countries in the world.
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Current position: Dance therapist of Psychiatric Department and Day Care at Enzhugong Hospital/Taiwan Asia-Pacific Health Management Association Director, Dance Therapy Consultant/Taiwan Fedenquist Education Center “Awareness in Motion” qualified teacher/Taiwan Dance Therapy Research Association Professional Certified Dance Therapist .
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【Books over the years】
“Disney’s GOTCHA! American English Teaching Material for Children” (co-author)
“The Heart Is Dancing: Meeting Dance Therapy”
“The hedgehog kid is not difficult to do: To make the child obedient, listen to the child first”
“Book of Perfect Parents’ Development” (co-author)
“Girl, practice traveling alone”
“Assisted and Integrated Therapy” (co-author)
“Stop wronging yourself and seek others’ approval: 20 lessons to learn how to break through life without being wronged”
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【Latest work】
“Did you hear the child’s call for help? A senior motion therapist will show you the child’s problems from the child’s words and deeds”
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[Translation over the years]
“Da Ai Shou: Healing Hands of Universal Love” English Version [Co-translation]
“The Book of Yoga Beauty”
“Assassin’s Story 2: The Royal Assassin” (up/down)
“Assassin’s Story 3: Assassin Mission” (up/down)
“Magic Manufacturing Co., Ltd.”
“Dance Movement Therapy: The Art of Healing” (co-translation)
